The ParentTeacher Conference From Hell
by Amish-PalmPilot
Summary: When Bulma drags Vegeta to a parent-teacher conference, he realizes that school is the work of the Devil and that he must avenge the souls of all the poor children that have been tortured there! Chpt. 3 is up!
1. Default Chapter

"YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"

"Yes, I can, dear," Bulma said as she tried to pry Vegeta off of the bedpost. "It will be a good cultural experience."

"I thought we had already agreed that culture hates me!"

Bulma stopped for a moment to think. "If you don't go, I'll stop cooking for you!"

Vegeta tightened his grip. "Well then, I'll stay here!"

Bulma took out her wrench. "Vegeta, get off before I make you get off."

Vegeta gulped, but still held on, a determined look on his face.

"1…"

"I won't give in to you, woman!"

"2…"

"You can't make me!"

"3!"

CLANG!

A howl of pain echoed through the house. Vegeta was on the floor, clutching his throbbing hands. "You will pay for this later, woman," he hissed.

"Yeah?" retorted Bulma. "What are you going to do? Pout at me?"

Vegeta pouted, and then realized he was pouting and quickly withdrew into his scowl. "I hate you sometimes."

Bulma leaned over and gave her hubby a kiss. "Look dear, we're doing it for Trunks. You know we have to. Anyways, I didn't make you go to any of the other parent-teacher conferences."

"I am the Prince of ALL SAIYANS! I shouldn't have to go to –"

CLANG!

More screams of pain. Vegeta was curled up on the floor, clutching his head. Bulma had her wrench out again, and her eyes flashed evilly. "Don't make me do that again. This is IT! You WILL COME!" She laughed insanely.

Vegeta screamed to Kami, "Why? WHY?"

Bulma, who thought that the question was directed at her, replied, "Because I say so!"

Vegeta cowered against the wall.

"Now I'll get you some proper clothes." Bulma turned to the closet and pulled out - sinister music plays thunder crashes the lights darken - THE PINK SHIRT!

Vegeta screamed.

_Somewhere in the mountains…_

"Did you hear something?" asked Goku.

Gohan stood up. "It sounded like a heart bursting apart in pure terror. I pity the creature that made that sound."

_Back at Capsule Corps…_

Vegeta stood at the bottom of the stairwell in his pink shirt and blue jeans. Bulma had tried to make him wear the yellow pants as well, but he had managed to send them into the next dimension before Bulma had gotten them on. Vegeta glared around the room, feeling trapped as he waited for Bulma to come down the stairs. Looking into the living room, Vegeta spied Trunks playing his Nintendo. For the first time in his life, Vegeta envied Trunks.

Just then, he felt some cold air behind him. He whirled around, but there was nothing there. He felt a sinister presence. Lightning flashed, and suddenly Bulma was standing at the front door.

"Time to go!" she cried.

Vegeta could have sworn that at that moment she had sprouted fangs. As he was being dragged out of the door, he cried to Trunks, "Son, if I don't come back, remember, I love you!"

And then he was gone.

Trunks sat in the dark room with only the flickering glow of the T.V. on his face. "I love you too, Father. Good luck."

Chpt. 2

Bulma and Vegeta stood outside of the school. A moment in time seemed to freeze for Vegeta. All of his senses were screaming for him to turn back. As he stood there, he could hear the rain falling, splashing into the puddles. For a moment he thought he could see the ghosts of tortured souls kneeling by the front door, crying in pain and anguish. Vegeta trembled. He was truly terrified.

"Well, come on! We're going to be late," Bulma snapped. She grabbed his arm and dragged him toward the front door.

"No!" he cried. "Do you not see them? Do you not see the weeping children? Don't you SEE them?"

Bulma stopped and stared at him. "No."

"Ah!" gasped Vegeta. "You're standing on a SOUL!" He shoved Bulma away and bent down to check on the poor invisible child. "Are you all right?"

"Vegeta! Acting delirious is NOT going to get you out of this!"

The poor children could only gaze in despair as Vegeta was dragged off down the hallways. Just as he rounded the corner, out of sight of the children, he asked himself, "What is this place?"

Bulma sighed. "This is a school, Vegeta. Children come here to learn."

"Learn what?"

"They learn to read, and write, and share, and care."

Vegeta turned away. "The Devil's work."

Bulma gave Vegeta a strange look and continued down the dark hallway. Vegeta followed after her, head down, sneaking glances to the side.

"Oh, there's Trunks' classroom," Bulma said, pointing to a door on the left.

"We send our CHILD here?" Vegeta asked in disbelief. Vegeta stood in the doorway. He knew in that moment that he had to protect his son. With new resolution, he marched through the door. These people had hell to pay.


	2. Meeting Lucifer I mean the teacher

Chapt. 3

Vegeta surveyed the room, noting all of the cleverly hidden torture devices. Desks – probably lined with spikes on the inside. Black boards – public humiliation. Class hamsters – they were probably infected with deadly diseases; one bite could be fatal. Glue and construction paper – mummify the students alive!

"Um… excuse me?"

Vegeta whirled about at the sound of the sickeningly sweet voice, dripping with a deadly undertone. The Devil was getting cleverer these days. He stumbled backward, making a cross with his fingers.

There was a pause. "Are you Catholic?"

"No," interceded Bulma. "He's just being silly." The moment the teacher turned her fluffy blonde head away, Bulma got Vegeta by the ear and hissed, "What do you think you're doing?"

"Don't you see it? Her hair is hiding her horns," Vegeta explained hurriedly. "She's really Satan!"

Bulma released her hold on Vegeta and crossed her arms. "You're unbelievable. Just sit down and shut up until I tell you to talk."

Vegeta grumbled something in Saiyan and sat down to observe the ways of the demon. He needed to construct a battle plan.

"Well, let's get started then," the teacher began. "Trunks is a little… darling," she gushed.

Vegeta hacked and refrained from spitting.

The teacher gave him a concerned glance before moving on. "He can just be a little overly energetic at times."

Vegeta's scowl darkened. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Bulma whacked Vegeta with her foot under the table.

"Well, he doesn't pay attention in class –"

_Of course he doesn't pay attention_, Vegeta thought. _He's a genius. He got it from me._

"And… he's convinced that he's the prince of all the Caijuns, I believe he said."

Vegeta smirked but ignored the mistake, blaming it on stupid, inferior human hearing.

"And he doesn't understand the concept of 'throw it lightly' in gym class."

Vegeta gave a small laugh. He was proud of his son. "It's not Trunks' fault that the other children are weaklings. 'Being miserable builds character.'"

Bulma stomped on Vegeta's toes with her high heels as the teacher looked on in bewilderment, but figuring that Bulma was the one in charge, she went on, "But other than that he's a sweet boy."

Vegeta grunted. _I'll have to talk to him about that later._ From that point on, Vegeta ceased to pay attention to his wife and Satan, instead planning the demon's demise.

Bulma, figuring that he was probably being good, decided that it was safe for her to take a quick break. "I'm going to the ladies' room. I'll be right back."

The teacher turned to look at Vegeta. He sat with his arms crossed, glaring at her. The seconds went by as the clock went _tick… tick… tick…_

"Nice weather we're having," the teacher said conversationally.

"Don't try any of your tricks with me, Lucifer," Vegeta said triumphantly. "I know what you're up to."

The teacher, not understanding, twisted her toad-like face into a smile and said, "The only thing I'm up to is teaching children the joy of learning."

"Exactly my point."

"Oh, good. Do you have any more questions or concerns about Trunks' education here?"

"Just one. Who were the tortured, screaming souls out by the front door?"

"I'm sorry – I – I didn't see any souls out by the front door."

"Well, what door were they at then, if not the front door?"

The teacher looked baffled. "I don't think there are any souls by any of the doors."

"But you didn't admit to not seeing screaming tortured people."

The teacher leaned back in her chair and mumbled, "I don't know what you're –"

Just then, Bulma returned. Vegeta huddled back into his chair, pretending nothing had happened. Bulma saw the look on the teacher's face and sighed. "What did Vegeta do to you?"

"He accused me of being Lucifer!"

"I did not!" retorted Vegeta. "She lies! They're all lies! Lucifer is the prince of lies! I mean – IT is the prince of lies. I never said SHE was the prince of lies."

Bulma sank into her chair and rubbed her temples. She asked, "Is there anything more that we need to go over?"

"Not unless you have any questions," the teacher replied brightly, pretending to forget what had happened only a moment before.

"No," muttered Bulma. "We're just going to visit the principal now, and then we'll go home and spend some _quality time_ together," she said pointedly to Vegeta.

Vegeta waited until they got into the hall to ask, "What's this principal thing that you speak of?"

"The principal is the one in charge," Bulma sighed.

"WHAT? How can it BE? There is one more powerful than LUCIFER? I mean – it – she – never mind."

"Now Vegeta, no accusing the principal of being the Devil, Lucifer, or any other names used to describe Satan."

Vegeta agreed and followed Bulma down the hall, thinking to himself, _She never said I couldn't blow him up._ He smirked.


End file.
